Academic Aspirations

I’ve noticed an interesting change in my own language which may belie an even more interesting change in my hopes/dreams/aspirations/etc. It’s a simple change. Just one word.

“If” has been replaced more and more often by “when.”

What am I talking about? Well, let me back up a bit.

A couple years ago as I was finishing up my undergraduate degree at this fine university, I knew I wanted to go to graduate school. I knew I wasn’t quite done with my education, and a master’s degree at the very least was in my future. What came after that, though, was pretty hazy. I had visions of me working at an embassy or in an NGO. Doing applied work. Because who wants to be stuck in academia forever. I never really dismissed the thought entirely, though. It was always a possibility, sort of, well, lurking in the background.

Occasionally, I talked about “if I become a professor.” Occasionally.

Those occasions started to grow more frequent my first semester of graduate school. I was enjoying teaching. The little bit of research I was doing was exciting. So that “if” statement became pretty frequent.

Towards the end of the semester “if” would every once in a while become “when.” “When I become a professor…”

I noticed lately, though, that the “if” has disappeared almost entirely. That NGO job doesn’t seem so likely, but research and teaching and advising sounds really plausible…and, dare I say…attractive.

Hmm.